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January’s Big New Book Order #amreading

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Feb 012019

I did another big book order this week, and decided I’d try to be more disciplined about this blogging thing and share some of the titles I can’t wait to get my hands on:

How to Sit: A Memoir in Stories and Essays by Tyrese L. Coleman

I know Tyrese through some online networking groups for writers, plus Twitter chats. Published by small Mason Jar Press, her book, How to Sit, is grabbing big attention, including a nomination for the PEN/Open Book Award. From Amazon:

“How to Sit, a memoir when viewed in its entirety, plays with the line between fiction and nonfiction as it explores adolescence, identity, grief, and the transition between girlhood and womanhood for a young black woman seeking to ground herself when all she wants is to pretend her world is fantasy.”

First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story by Huda Al-Marashi

Here’s another writer I “met” through online networking! Huda’s memoir from indie Prometheus Books was chosen as a best book of 2018 by Buzzfeed!

A review from E.J. Levy in The Washington Post raves, “If Jane Austen had grown up as a first-gen daughter of Iraqi parents in the 1990s, she might have written this. Keenly observed, with indelible characters, al-Marashi portrays the complex mores and manners that govern life and love in the immigrant community of her youth — from the kindly if baffled Baba, her elderly father, to Huda’s formidable mother and the endearingly hapless Hadi, who loves Huda for years, hampered by propriety…”

A Fractured Life by Shabnam Samuel

This memoir is also from a small press, Vermont’s Green Place Books. From Amazon:

“Abandoned by her parents as a three-year-old, and ultimately leaving her home country India for a new life in America as a young mother of a three-year-old son, this is not only an immigrant’s story, but a poignant and powerful memoir that is at first, one of sadness and continuing adversity, but ultimately one of strength, purpose, and the universal triumph of hope.”

Shabnam, whom I also met through networking groups, is the founder of the Panchgani Writers Retreat in India, which I someday hope to attend.

Brother Bullet: Poems by Casandra López

This one is a preorder from University of Arizona Press! I’m so looking forward to reading these poems. I heard Casandra read some of her work at Hugo House in Seattle a couple years ago. The Amazon description for this collection is gorgeous:

“Speaking to both a personal and collective loss, in Brother Bullet Casandra López confronts her relationships with violence, grief, guilt, and ultimately, endurance. Revisiting the memory and lasting consequences of her brother’s murder, López traces the course of the bullet—its trajectory, impact, wreckage—in lyrical narrative poems that are haunting and raw with emotion, yet tender and alive in revelations of light.”

And last but not least…

Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton

My friend Kira’s book won’t be released until August, but trust me, you want to pre-order so you can tell your friends you read this amazing novel before it hit The New York Times bestseller list! This hilarious story is a 2019 lead title for publisher Grand Central, and has already been optioned for a series by the AMC Network. I definitely need Amazon’s help to explain this book:

“S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle’s wild crows (those idiots), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®.

Then Big Jim’s eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to feel like something isn’t quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies–from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim’s loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis–fail to cure Big Jim’s debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity’s extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.”

Getting Started as a Writer: Social Media Tip

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Jan 252019

Ok, maybe you’re smarter than me and you already know how to do all the social media things, but I was recently introduced to a super easy tool for graphics that I wanted to share.

I’ve been working with Liz Hanslik Psaltis of EHP Marketing to learn how to improve my social media presence as a writer. Liz suggested I try the Canva app and make some shareable quotes from pieces I’ve written. This is my first attempt making a graphic, with a quote from an essay I wrote for The Washington Post in 2017 called Unpacking the Adoption That Wasn’t.

Making this graphic and posting it to Instagram took all of five minutes. I was stunned, since I previously had no idea how all those beautiful little graphics were made. I assumed I’d need a better skill set, but it was so easy…Who knew?

Next up: figure out how to use my own photos instead of stock pics.

Fantastic Forthcoming Books…

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Dec 122018

A few writers I know, either “IRL” or through online connections, have new books coming out soon. This week I did a big pre-order, so I thought I’d share the news about these forthcoming memoirs I’m so excited about…I can’t wait for these books to show up on my doorstep!

Twin to Twin: From High-Risk Pregnancy to Happy Family — Crystal Duffy

Pub date: Dec 15, 2018

I met Crystal at the ASJA Conference last May, and then our paths crossed again at the Brave Magic workshop in September with Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert. She’s one of the friendliest and most upbeat people I’ve met, and I can’t wait to read her inspirational story. She’s a tireless advocate for NICU Parents as well as Maternal and Infant health.

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive — Stephanie Land

Pub date: January 22, 2019

Stephanie’s memoir about working as a maid and scraping by as a single mom, has gotten tons of advance praise. I know she’s poured her heart into this book.

On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard — Jennifer Pastiloff

Pub date: June 4, 2019

Jennifer is so many amazing things: writer, yoga teacher, social media star, and creator of the beautiful online magazine, The Manifest-Station.

Amazon describes her book as “an inspirational memoir about how… years of waitressing taught her to seek out unexpected beauty, how deafness taught her to listen fiercely, how being vulnerable allowed her to find love, and how imperfections can lead to a life full of wild happiness.”

Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love — Dani Shapiro

Pub Date: Jan 15, 2019

Dani is one of my favorite writers, and her first memoir, Slow Motion, will always be one of my favorite books. I can’t wait to read this story about her discovery of a shocking family secret.

Getting Started as a Writer: Finding a News Peg

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Sep 132018

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

I published a new essay this week, titled Sexism Against Female Athletes Starts Early. Just Ask My Daughter, tied to the drama surrounding Serena Williams and the disastrous US Open Women’s final, and I thought I’d share a few thoughts about how you can leverage what’s happening in the news to increase your chances of publishing a personal essay.

The web has been a boon for writers, creating an endless demand for fresh content that will make readers want to click, click, click. (The downside is that freelance pay rates have gone down down down, because “content” is cheaper than journalism or literature, but that’s a story for another time.) Whenever you can find a personal story that connects with what people are talking about on social media and elsewhere, you have an increased shot at publication. The key is finding a fresh angle, grounded in your unique experience and sensibility.

It just so happened that the day before that infamous US Open match, my daughter received a ridiculous penalty card in a high school volleyball game that even her coach attributed to sexism. With everyone talking about sexism in women’s sports, I had the perfect opportunity to share my daughter’s experience and reflect on how sexism affects young athletes.

My friend, writer Shanon Lee, looked at the US Open mess and actually came up with two essays, grounded in her experience as a black woman — Serena Williams and the Epidemic of Policing Black Women’s Anger — and as the mom of biracial black and Asian children — Serena is an important role model, but Naomi Osaka will be important to my daughter.

Keep in mind, if you’re chasing the headlines, you need to work fast. I’m not a fast writer (how did Shanon get two pieces done in 24 hours??!!!) Some of my past attempts at a “hot take” have failed, meaning I spent a lot of time writing something, and nobody wanted to publish it because I pitched too late in the news cycle. However, one of my most successful pieces came from a hot take that failed. I sent an essay to the Well Family section of The New York Times, and the editor explained that they didn’t publish items tied to fast-trending news very often…BUT then she invited me to rewrite the piece, leaving out the news peg, which became my Ties essay, A Poster Family for Diversity. So my advice is, if you feel super fired up about something in the news and just HAVE to write it, don’t hold back! You never know where that piece will lead.

Finally, a news peg doesn’t always mean latching on to a trending news story. Pegs like holidays, seasons, special events like National Adoption Month, the reboot of an old TV show etc can also help you land a byline, with the benefit of allowing you to write at a more leisurely pace if you plan ahead. Also remember that some essays are evergreen, and editors need those too, but anytime you have a fresh angle on what’s topical, you’re ahead of the game.

To read my latest essay, head over to HuffPost Personal.

Career advice from a master: David Sedaris

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Jul 182018

Recently, I heard from an editor who’d published an essay of mine a few years ago. She’s moved into corporate communications, where the $$$ is much better than in publishing, and wanted to hire me for a project.

These days I seldom do content/corporate writing. That’s how I made my living in my 20s/ 30s, until my husband encouraged me to focus on creative projects. Having a partner who financially supports your creativity is a privilege that has benefited my career and allowed me to work on a memoir. Still, I sometimes chafe at the arrangement. Why? Because earning money feels good. But the truth is, it’s really hard to work on a book and freelance at the same time. And with 3 kids, my time is always short.

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash

My point is, I should have said no.

However.

The day the editor contacted me, I had $72 in my work checking account and only $150 due to come in from my last piece. I was flattered that this woman remembered me. I didn’t need the money to keep the lights on, but the prospect of a big-ish check that would pay for my next writer’s conference getaway was enticing. I said yes.

Once I dug into the assignments, I regretted my decision. I had to bring work with me while traveling with my daughter’s soccer team. Instead of enjoying the beach, I was holed up in my room at the Sheraton, writing insurance company copy. I mean, it was good to be earning $, but it wasn’t fun.

Of course — expecting work to be “fun” is another privilege. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that the work didn’t feel satisfying. Writing isn’t always fun, but most of the time it makes me feel good. Except when it feels like “work.” I found myself lamenting the time I wasn’t spending with my kid during the trip, and regretting the time I wasn’t spending on my book.

I turned in the assignments and got paid. I complained on social media that I hadn’t enjoyed the project (without going into detail), and a friend commented that she’s been trying to get writing work for years and would love someone to hire her for anything. And I felt like an ass.

A few days later, I was listening to the wonderful podcast #amwriting with Jess and KJ. The ladies were interviewing David Sedaris, and when they asked him about the early days of his career, he said that from the start, he had a vision for what he wanted his writing career to be. As his career heated up, he said no to opportunities that weren’t consistent with that vision. He turned down lots of cool offers because they weren’t going to help him get him where he wanted to go.

That’s why he’s David Sedaris, I thought, and you’re not.

While I very much appreciated being offered content work, I should have said no. I’ve said yes to several things this year that I shouldn’t have, and then I walk around frustrated and twitchy because I’m not moving forward fast enough on those bigger, creative goals that are close to my heart. And when I grab an opportunity that’s not really right for me, I’m also standing in the way of someone somewhere who would really, really love that gig.

Again, I want to acknowledge that saying no to paying work is a privilege not everyone can afford. ( And Jess and KJ never asked David Sedaris how he paid his bills in the early days of his career when he was saying no to distracting offers! I wish they had. ) But regardless of what kind of financial situation you’re in, this much is true: EVERY TIME YOU SAY YES TO ONE THING, YOU’RE SAYING NO TO SOMETHING ELSE. None of us has unlimited time or energy. We can’t do it all. We have to cultivate a vision for the future and make choices accordingly. Maybe we have to say yes to less-than-exciting jobs sometimes to survive, but then we balance that out by saying no to other things, like binge-watching Netflix, to grab that creative time.

The fact that I need to consciously say no more often isn’t a revelation. But hearing a famous author matter-of-factly explain how clear he was — and is — about his priorities was inspiring. From now on I’m going to ask myself WWDD — What Would David Do? Maybe it will help.

Getting Started as a Writer: Retreats, Conferences and Workshops

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May 032018

I’ve been meaning to share some thoughts about writing retreats, conferences and workshops. What can you expect? How do you choose the right one? Here are a few ideas.

Last week I spent five glorious days in California at Sonoma County Writers Camp (SCWC). Run by New York Times bestselling author Ellen Sussman, and writer Elizabeth Stark, SCWC offers workshops and master classes suitable for writers at every level, plus tons of private writing time! This was my second time attending SCWC and I loved every minute!

Elizabeth, center, and Ellen, right, at the opening night wine tasting. Photo by Angie Powers.

Photo by Angie Powers.

Held at the Occidental Arts and Ecology Center, SCWC truly has a camp feel, with stories told round the fire and frogs croaking all through the night — but with comfy beds and indoor plumbing. Check out the compostable toilets! 😆 The food is all fresh and healthy vegetarian, much of it grown on site, but because it’s Sonoma County, the long weekend kicked off with a local wine tasting, hosted by Eric Kent Winery. Cheers!

One thing I love about SCWC is that the sessions led by Elizabeth and Ellen are generative. The means you write during the classes vs. presenting polished work from home for critique. Generative workshops are perfect for beginners, because you simply dive in and write, with a little support. The generative approach also works well for experienced writers who want to break out of a rut or bust past a block and get that creativity flowing!

Other fantastic conferences I’ve attended that offer generative workshops include Vortext (for women only) on Whidbey Island, Washington. Writing By Writers, founded by writer Pam Houston, puts on conferences all over the world, and often includes generative workshops in the mix. I’ve attended both these conferences multiple times as well, and I highly recommend them!

But what if you have a piece of writing you’ve been laboring over? You’ve taken it as far as it can go on your own but you know it still needs work? A critique workshop may be what you need. For this type of conference, you submit a writing sample in advance, and receive pages from other writers to review. During the conference, each writer’s work is discussed in depth by the group and you leave with a ton of feedback from everyone. Critique workshops can feel a little bruising if you’re not used to the approach, but a good instructor should ensure that comments stay productive. Writing by Writers offers critique workshops, as does the magnificent Sirenland, offered by Dani Shapiro and Hannah Tinti in Positano, Italy.

At a retreat or a residency, everything revolves around writing time, though guidance may be offered. At Linda Sivertsen’s amazing Carmel Writing Retreats, attendees discuss their projects together, brainstorm, set goals and then spend hours quietly working. Linda also meets one-on-one with each attendee and helps with everything from editing, to pep talks, to advice on finding an agent. For myself, I’ve learned that events with lots of writing time with built in accountability to other writers works really well for me, which is what Linda offers, but you can create the same productive atmosphere with friends at a DIY retreat.

Industry or pitch conferences are a great way to learn about the business of publishing and how to market your work. I’ll be speaking on a panel later this month at the American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference in New York. Rudri Bhatt Patel, Jenn Morson, Jen Simon and I will offer tips on pitching essays and articles to magazines. Our May 19 presentation is part of non-members day at the conference, geared to writers just starting out. If you have a book idea, industry conferences offer a the chance to find out what agents and editors are looking for, and to get feedback from pros on your project if you’re ready.

Sometimes the lines at conferences and workshops get blurred. Craft may mix with industry, and a retreat might include critique workshops. For example, Sonoma County Writers Camp always includes a publishing industry panel, to give attendees a taste of what agents, editors and booksellers do. The important thing when choosing a conference or event is to figure out what YOUR objective is in participating. Do you need writing time? Instruction? Feedback? Inspiration? Are you looking to network and make publishing industry connections? Read the conference description carefully to be sure you understand what’s on offer, try to get feedback from past attendees, and then go for what you need.

Have you attended a really great writer’s conference or retreat? Have you created a conference? Feel free to share info and tips in the comments.

Getting Started as a Writer: Helpful Books, Websites, and Podcasts

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Mar 182018

In my last post, I talked about how often I hear from people who feel a calling to write but don’t know where or how to start. I’m sharing some of my favorite resources here on the blog. Let’s take a look!

BOOKS

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within — Natalie Goldberg’s Zen approach to writing stands as a classic for a reason. All you need to get started is pen, paper, and Natalie’s encouragement to write anywhere, even the laundromat.

The Artist’s Way — Julie Cameron’s iconic guide serves beginning writers, as well as writers who need to refresh and begin again. Cameron will have you writing three pages every morning before you know it.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life — Anne Lamott will coax you into writing a “shitty first draft.” Another enduring classic.

Discovering the Writer Within: The 40-Day Writers Workshop — This practical guide by Bruce Ballenger and Barry Lane is used often in classrooms, but you can easily do these writing exercises at home. Ballenger taught at the University of New Hampshire when I was an adjunct instructor there. I stole all my classroom writing exercises from him.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft — Even if you’re not a fan of Stephen King’s fiction, check out his brilliant and inspiring writing guide.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear — Elizabeth Gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame, offers advice on creativity that manages to be both lofty and down-to-earth at the same time.

Still Writing: The Pleasures and Perils of a Creative Life — This jewel of a book arose from Dani Shapiro’s brilliant blog on writing, Moments of Being. If Shapiro’s voice speaks to you, check out her Facebook series on writing, Office Hours, where she answers questions on writing from viewers.

Those are just a few of my favorites. For even more book recommendations, try:

The 28 Best Books on Writing

100 Must-Read, Best Books on Writing and the Writer’s Life

Best Books for Writers

WEBSITES

The Write Life — Make this site your first stop, because every year The Write Life publishes a list of the 100 Best Websites for Writers. This is your jumping off point!

Beyond Your Blog — If you’re eager to try publishing, this site will show you how to get started, with tips from editors and an extensive market list, with plenty of outlets that are open to beginners. Site creator Susan Macarelli has stepped away and is no longer updating the info, but there’s still plenty of helpful and relevant material here.

Poets & Writers — If you’re interested in MFA programs, conferences and residencies, you’ll find info about all that and more here.

Writer’s Digest — There’s a reason they’ve been around forever. The Writer’s Digest site connects you to their magazine content, plus conferences and retreats, online classes and more.

PODCASTS

#amwriting with Jess and KJ — #amwriting offers practical tips on how to make writing happen. New York Times columnist KJ Dell’Antonia and Jess Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure, share their secrets of success, talk candidly about their struggles, and discuss their favorite books.

The Beautiful Writers Podcast — my friend Linda Siverstsen interviews some of the biggest names in the book work, including Terry McMillan, Glennon Doyle, Mary Karr and Martha Beck. Inspirational and real at the same time.

Also check out:

20 Inspiring Writers Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now

In my next post, I’ll talk about writers’ conferences, retreats, and groups.

Getting Started as a Writer

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Feb 212018

It happens often: a woman, usually a mom, confesses to me that she’d maybe like to write one day. Or she does write a little, and she’d maybe like to publish. Or she published some little thing once, but it was a long time ago so she says it doesn’t count, not really. Hopefulness, tentativeness, and a dash of fear seem far too common among women yearning to express themselves. You can do it, I say. Work at it, and you can do it.

Now the men I meet are another story. The guys tell me that they’re certain they’ve got a book in them. Some fellas will recount the entire plot of a novel or screenplay they’ve been toying with. Work at it, I say. Work at it, and you can do it.

I truly believe that anyone — female, male, non-binary — can write. To get started, you just need mix up the perfect cocktail of confidence + humility, then dive earnestly into the process. But how, exactly? There’s really only three things you need to do.

Read. Seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people want to be writers who aren’t readers! Read anything and everything, especially in the genre you’d like to explore. If you want to write a children’s book, you need to read children’s books. If you want to write personal essays, you need to read some personal essays and consider how they’re put together. If you want to write a YA novel, then…you get the idea. Aside: As the mom of children with learning differences, I want to add that a lot of creative, inventive people struggle with reading. Books on tape work just fine for absorbing a feel for good writing. Don’t let something like ADD or dyslexia stop you. You’ll be in good company with writers like F. Scott Fitzgerald, WB Yeats, John Irving, Octavia Butler, Fannie Flagg, and George Bernard Shaw.
Write. Again, this seems like a no brainer, but it has to be said: it’s not enough to think and dream about being a writer. Eventually you’ve got to put words on the page. Don’t worry about whether your words are any good at first. You’re just exercising, building muscle and endurance. Make writing a habit, a practice, before you worry about quality or talent or publishing.
Connect. You need to meet other writers, in person and/or online. Cultivate a big, supportive network that includes folks just starting out, like you are, and others more established. Although as writers we all suffer low moments, try not to hang out with people who consistently go negative. Positivity and success are contagious. Run to the light. And shine the light for others.

In my next post, I’ll share some resources for developing your writing skills and connecting with other writers.

My Year-in-Writing Review: the Highs and Lows of 2017

Memoir, News about me, Publishing, retreats and residencies, Uncategorized, writers conferences, Writing Comments Off

Jan 012018

2017 wasn’t an easy year for many of us. Professionally, I felt distracted by the national news AND I struggled with health problems. Honestly, I felt kinda stuck at times — yet last week, a colleague congratulated me on all my “successes” during the year. Her comment made me do a spit take. I might have been feeling unproductive, but actually I did make a lot of progress in 2017. By focusing on the challenges and failures (including the fact that I’ve been a terrible blogger!) I was just inviting more disappointment. Time for an attitude adjustment and year-in-review post!

I kicked off 2017 with a post for Daily Worth about charities that support education for girls, a subject dear to my heart. I also spent a January week in one of my favorite spots on the planet, Carmel-by-the-Sea. I treated myself to one of Linda Sivertsen’s incredible writing retreats, where I made wonderful new friends and moved the needle on my memoir. A perfect start to the year.

Fellow Carmel retreater Norma Rubio snapped this photo during our beach walk. She’s now teaching folks about mindfulness!

In February, I jetted off to Mardi Gras for my first-ever press trip, courtesy of the nice people at Zatarains. I hadn’t been to New Orleans since my twenties, and it was an emotional reunion that I wrote about for The Kitchn, in my first-ever travel essay.

In March, I took off for a long writing weekend in Seabright, Washington, with my friends Kira Jane Buxton and Jennifer Fliss. Write those names down, ya’ll, because you’ll be hearing a lot more about these talented women in the future. Kira sold her first novel, Hollow Kingdom, last summer to Grand Central, and Jennifer was just nominated for not one but TWO Pushcart Prizes.

I wasn’t feeling great during the weekend — I was sick and didn’t know it — and yet I still had a breakthrough on my memoir proposal that was badly needed. I realized I needed to take my chapter summaries apart and start over, which ended up being an excruciating, eight-month process. That’s where most of my creative energy went this year. I ended up essentially writing an abridged version of my book, which is making completion of the final draft go much more smoothly. Proof that getting away even for a few days can yield big dividends.

Jennifer, me and Kira outside our writing cottage. Whoever had the longest arm snapped the selfie.

The entire month of April was spent getting medical tests and feeling crappy. Moving on…

I feared I wasn’t going to be well enough to make it to the ASJA Conference in New York City in May, but in the end I rallied, and I’m so glad I did! People actually turned up at 8 am Saturday morning to hear the panel on Tackling Tough Topics that Dorri Olds, Rudri Bhatt Patel, Candy Arrington and I presented. I loved connecting live and in person with writer friends made through online networking. Julie Vick and I even snuck off to see Kinky Boots on Broadway! Outside the conference, I grabbed a reunion lunch with fellow Lemon Treehouse alum Christine Kandic Torres (also nominated for a Pushcart this year – wow!) and caught up with Sirenlander Kathryn Maughan, and heard all about her time at the Iceland Writers Retreat. I returned to Seattle full of writing inspiration and re-energized by friendship.

The labyrinth.

Summer rolled around, and I made getting my chapter summaries reconfigured by fall a goal. My family and I took a little weekend getaway to Arizona, and then I stayed behind to write for almost a week at the Franciscan Renewal Center, a Catholic retreat center located about a mile from my childhood home in Scottsdale. June in Arizona is too hot for tourists, so I got a great deal on a room with a desk and 3 meals a day. (They were grandma-style meat and potatoes meals, a little short on the fruit and veggies, but at least I didn’t go hungry…)

Note: you don’t need to be Catholic to take advantage of a private retreat here! Church services are available but optional; I didn’t attend. Every morning and evening I walked the labyrinth and wandered in the gardens soaking up the desert landscape, absorbing the sound of quail cooing and the smell of creosote. Just writing this makes me long for that desert solitude.

In July, we took a family vacation in Jamaica. I snuck in some writing every morning while my teenagers slept and my husband hit the gym. By this point, I was starting to feel more like myself again physically, lamenting the fact that the year was half over and I hadn’t published much. I dug out an old essay draft, gave it another polish while on vacation, and sold it to The Washington Post. I also wrote one more piece for the Post before the month was over, about new public attitudes toward foster care…As a matter of fact, I wrote the final draft in my Volvo while my daughter was at soccer practice. I just love how sports clubs arrange for kids to practice in the middle of the day during the summer — not like parents have to work or anything, right?

By August, I was starting to feel like the end was in sight with my chapter summaries, and I was desperate to finish. I took another getaway (boy, it sounds like I’m never home! But I gotta get away from the mom duties sometimes to think.) At Sonoma County Writers Camp, I finally met my agent, Bonnie Solow, in person! Bonnie encouraged me to take my time and get the summaries right, which was reassuring. Camp might have been the best thing I did for my writing all year. The generative workshops, led by Ellen Sussman and Elizabeth Stark, were inspiring and so productive, the setting was gorgeous, the veggie meals tasty and healthy, and I met some lovely people. I’m adding this Camp to my 2018 list.

September the kids went back in school — yay! I just kept plugging away on my chapter summaries for the memoir. I honestly can’t remember exactly when I wrapped those up, but I know I felt thrilled when my agent gave them her seal of approval. We’ve both been dying to get my book out on submission… but at this point, we started debating which sample chapters to show editors. I decided that a chapter I hadn’t yet written really needed to be in the submission package, and so I got cracking on that.

Several amazing opportunities came my way in October. I wrote a piece for ParentMap about Together Live, an inspirational storytelling show featuring some big names like Glennon Doyle and Luvvie Ajayi. That led to an interview with soccer legend Abby Wambach for The Washington Post on how to be a great sports parent. (I even found myself confessing to the GOAT how sad I felt when my oldest daughter quit the sport — yikes!) I’d never interviewed a celebrity before, I was nervous, and my tape recording app failed. I had to rely on my notes to put the final draft together, but I made it work. I also had the chance to talk with a behind-the-scenes powerhouse of the literary world, agent Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, for Ruby Magazine, and how she created Together Live. Our conversation left me with inspirational tears.

Three wonderful things happened in November: 1. I completed the chapter I needed for my submission package! 2. I wrote a travel piece for Your Teen that will be out in February. 3. I got the first royalty check of my career, when a piece I wrote for The New York Times in 2016 got reprinted in Japan. (Did my essay land in newspaper/magazine/ book? I’m not really sure, because some of the info on the royalty statement was written in Japanese!)

One kinda sad thing happened in November: my agent and I decided to wait until 2018 to send my book proposal package out on submission to editors. We didn’t want to compete with the holidays for their attention. Even though it was right call, I felt depressed about it for a good 72 hours. I worked hard this year in spite of health issues without a lot to show for it in terms of money or publications, and I was really hoping to crown the year with that submission. Like I said, it’s so easy to get caught up in what we haven’t accomplished and ignore our achievements…Eventually I snapped out of my funk and went Christmas shopping.

I was delighted to end the year in December with my first byline at The Week, an odd little holiday travel essay I’d been tinkering with off and on for a couple of years. I’m so glad the piece is finally out in the world!

Now that I’ve written it all down, I see that 2017 was in fact a productive, if not lucrative, year. What I haven’t included so far in this blog post: details about the major assignment I fumbled when I got sick. That’s too embarrassing, but failure happens, and then you regroup. I also collected quite a few rejections, from editors at The New Yorker, O, Woman’s Day, Family Circle, and Real Simple. Those magazines remain targets for 2018.

RIP 2017. I’m more than ready to start fresh.

A new essay from me up at The Washington Post

Adoption, Memoir, News about me, Parenting, Publishing, Writing Comments Off

Jul 192017

I don’t usually write a blog post when I publish something online, but thus far 2017 has been a rough one career-wise, so I’m pretty excited to get some work that I’m proud of out into the world.

This essay, Unpacking the Adoption That Wasn’t, took awhile. I wrote the first draft in an online workshop with writer Emily Rapp Black. If I remember correctly, our assignment was to write about a photograph:

She stands on the threshold of St. Theresa’s Tender Loving Care Home, a 3-year-old dressed in a donated red turtleneck and matching red-and-white skirt, with the purple sneakers I bought for her at Shoppers Stop in Hyderabad strapped on her feet. It’s a hot day, and she’s clutching a bottle of water. The morning sun is bright, giving the photo an overexposed quality. Some ayah, one of the orphanage caregivers, has rolled her sleeves up above the elbow. Haseena’s dark hair, cut pixie style, appears damp and freshly combed, hinting that I must have just arrived for my daily visit. She looks straight into the camera, her brown eyes wide, a swath of bushes and a line of coconut palms in the background. She’s not smiling. I probably didn’t give her time to pose.

Later, I got stuck in revision, and hired Dawn Raffel to edit the piece. It took me another year to get around to implementing Dawn’s suggestions.

In the midst of my dry spell, I gave the essay a fresh edit a couple of months ago, then submitted to quite a few outlets, including The New York Times and O, where the piece garnered encouraging “try us again” rejections. I didn’t have On Parenting at the top of my submission list initially, because in 2015 editor Amy Joyce ran another essay of mine that looked at my failed adoption from a completely different angle, and I feared she might view this one as a repeat. Thankfully, Amy liked the piece and gave it a home!

Click here to visit On Parenting and read the essay…