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January’s Big New Book Order #amreading

Authors, Books, Memoir, Publishing Comments Off

Feb 012019

I did another big book order this week, and decided I’d try to be more disciplined about this blogging thing and share some of the titles I can’t wait to get my hands on:

How to Sit: A Memoir in Stories and Essays by Tyrese L. Coleman

I know Tyrese through some online networking groups for writers, plus Twitter chats. Published by small Mason Jar Press, her book, How to Sit, is grabbing big attention, including a nomination for the PEN/Open Book Award. From Amazon:

“How to Sit, a memoir when viewed in its entirety, plays with the line between fiction and nonfiction as it explores adolescence, identity, grief, and the transition between girlhood and womanhood for a young black woman seeking to ground herself when all she wants is to pretend her world is fantasy.”

First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story by Huda Al-Marashi

Here’s another writer I “met” through online networking! Huda’s memoir from indie Prometheus Books was chosen as a best book of 2018 by Buzzfeed!

A review from E.J. Levy in The Washington Post raves, “If Jane Austen had grown up as a first-gen daughter of Iraqi parents in the 1990s, she might have written this. Keenly observed, with indelible characters, al-Marashi portrays the complex mores and manners that govern life and love in the immigrant community of her youth — from the kindly if baffled Baba, her elderly father, to Huda’s formidable mother and the endearingly hapless Hadi, who loves Huda for years, hampered by propriety…”

A Fractured Life by Shabnam Samuel

This memoir is also from a small press, Vermont’s Green Place Books. From Amazon:

“Abandoned by her parents as a three-year-old, and ultimately leaving her home country India for a new life in America as a young mother of a three-year-old son, this is not only an immigrant’s story, but a poignant and powerful memoir that is at first, one of sadness and continuing adversity, but ultimately one of strength, purpose, and the universal triumph of hope.”

Shabnam, whom I also met through networking groups, is the founder of the Panchgani Writers Retreat in India, which I someday hope to attend.

Brother Bullet: Poems by Casandra López

This one is a preorder from University of Arizona Press! I’m so looking forward to reading these poems. I heard Casandra read some of her work at Hugo House in Seattle a couple years ago. The Amazon description for this collection is gorgeous:

“Speaking to both a personal and collective loss, in Brother Bullet Casandra López confronts her relationships with violence, grief, guilt, and ultimately, endurance. Revisiting the memory and lasting consequences of her brother’s murder, López traces the course of the bullet—its trajectory, impact, wreckage—in lyrical narrative poems that are haunting and raw with emotion, yet tender and alive in revelations of light.”

And last but not least…

Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton

My friend Kira’s book won’t be released until August, but trust me, you want to pre-order so you can tell your friends you read this amazing novel before it hit The New York Times bestseller list! This hilarious story is a 2019 lead title for publisher Grand Central, and has already been optioned for a series by the AMC Network. I definitely need Amazon’s help to explain this book:

“S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle’s wild crows (those idiots), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®.

Then Big Jim’s eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to feel like something isn’t quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies–from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim’s loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis–fail to cure Big Jim’s debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity’s extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.”

Fantastic Forthcoming Books…

Authors, Books, Inspiration, Memoir, Publishing Comments Off

Dec 122018

A few writers I know, either “IRL” or through online connections, have new books coming out soon. This week I did a big pre-order, so I thought I’d share the news about these forthcoming memoirs I’m so excited about…I can’t wait for these books to show up on my doorstep!

Twin to Twin: From High-Risk Pregnancy to Happy Family — Crystal Duffy

Pub date: Dec 15, 2018

I met Crystal at the ASJA Conference last May, and then our paths crossed again at the Brave Magic workshop in September with Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert. She’s one of the friendliest and most upbeat people I’ve met, and I can’t wait to read her inspirational story. She’s a tireless advocate for NICU Parents as well as Maternal and Infant health.

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive — Stephanie Land

Pub date: January 22, 2019

Stephanie’s memoir about working as a maid and scraping by as a single mom, has gotten tons of advance praise. I know she’s poured her heart into this book.

On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard — Jennifer Pastiloff

Pub date: June 4, 2019

Jennifer is so many amazing things: writer, yoga teacher, social media star, and creator of the beautiful online magazine, The Manifest-Station.

Amazon describes her book as “an inspirational memoir about how… years of waitressing taught her to seek out unexpected beauty, how deafness taught her to listen fiercely, how being vulnerable allowed her to find love, and how imperfections can lead to a life full of wild happiness.”

Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love — Dani Shapiro

Pub Date: Jan 15, 2019

Dani is one of my favorite writers, and her first memoir, Slow Motion, will always be one of my favorite books. I can’t wait to read this story about her discovery of a shocking family secret.

Career advice from a master: David Sedaris

Authors, Memoir, Publishing, Uncategorized, Writing Comments Off

Jul 182018

Recently, I heard from an editor who’d published an essay of mine a few years ago. She’s moved into corporate communications, where the $$$ is much better than in publishing, and wanted to hire me for a project.

These days I seldom do content/corporate writing. That’s how I made my living in my 20s/ 30s, until my husband encouraged me to focus on creative projects. Having a partner who financially supports your creativity is a privilege that has benefited my career and allowed me to work on a memoir. Still, I sometimes chafe at the arrangement. Why? Because earning money feels good. But the truth is, it’s really hard to work on a book and freelance at the same time. And with 3 kids, my time is always short.

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash

My point is, I should have said no.

However.

The day the editor contacted me, I had $72 in my work checking account and only $150 due to come in from my last piece. I was flattered that this woman remembered me. I didn’t need the money to keep the lights on, but the prospect of a big-ish check that would pay for my next writer’s conference getaway was enticing. I said yes.

Once I dug into the assignments, I regretted my decision. I had to bring work with me while traveling with my daughter’s soccer team. Instead of enjoying the beach, I was holed up in my room at the Sheraton, writing insurance company copy. I mean, it was good to be earning $, but it wasn’t fun.

Of course — expecting work to be “fun” is another privilege. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that the work didn’t feel satisfying. Writing isn’t always fun, but most of the time it makes me feel good. Except when it feels like “work.” I found myself lamenting the time I wasn’t spending with my kid during the trip, and regretting the time I wasn’t spending on my book.

I turned in the assignments and got paid. I complained on social media that I hadn’t enjoyed the project (without going into detail), and a friend commented that she’s been trying to get writing work for years and would love someone to hire her for anything. And I felt like an ass.

A few days later, I was listening to the wonderful podcast #amwriting with Jess and KJ. The ladies were interviewing David Sedaris, and when they asked him about the early days of his career, he said that from the start, he had a vision for what he wanted his writing career to be. As his career heated up, he said no to opportunities that weren’t consistent with that vision. He turned down lots of cool offers because they weren’t going to help him get him where he wanted to go.

That’s why he’s David Sedaris, I thought, and you’re not.

While I very much appreciated being offered content work, I should have said no. I’ve said yes to several things this year that I shouldn’t have, and then I walk around frustrated and twitchy because I’m not moving forward fast enough on those bigger, creative goals that are close to my heart. And when I grab an opportunity that’s not really right for me, I’m also standing in the way of someone somewhere who would really, really love that gig.

Again, I want to acknowledge that saying no to paying work is a privilege not everyone can afford. ( And Jess and KJ never asked David Sedaris how he paid his bills in the early days of his career when he was saying no to distracting offers! I wish they had. ) But regardless of what kind of financial situation you’re in, this much is true: EVERY TIME YOU SAY YES TO ONE THING, YOU’RE SAYING NO TO SOMETHING ELSE. None of us has unlimited time or energy. We can’t do it all. We have to cultivate a vision for the future and make choices accordingly. Maybe we have to say yes to less-than-exciting jobs sometimes to survive, but then we balance that out by saying no to other things, like binge-watching Netflix, to grab that creative time.

The fact that I need to consciously say no more often isn’t a revelation. But hearing a famous author matter-of-factly explain how clear he was — and is — about his priorities was inspiring. From now on I’m going to ask myself WWDD — What Would David Do? Maybe it will help.

My Year-in-Writing Review: the Highs and Lows of 2017

Memoir, News about me, Publishing, retreats and residencies, Uncategorized, writers conferences, Writing Comments Off

Jan 012018

2017 wasn’t an easy year for many of us. Professionally, I felt distracted by the national news AND I struggled with health problems. Honestly, I felt kinda stuck at times — yet last week, a colleague congratulated me on all my “successes” during the year. Her comment made me do a spit take. I might have been feeling unproductive, but actually I did make a lot of progress in 2017. By focusing on the challenges and failures (including the fact that I’ve been a terrible blogger!) I was just inviting more disappointment. Time for an attitude adjustment and year-in-review post!

I kicked off 2017 with a post for Daily Worth about charities that support education for girls, a subject dear to my heart. I also spent a January week in one of my favorite spots on the planet, Carmel-by-the-Sea. I treated myself to one of Linda Sivertsen’s incredible writing retreats, where I made wonderful new friends and moved the needle on my memoir. A perfect start to the year.

Fellow Carmel retreater Norma Rubio snapped this photo during our beach walk. She’s now teaching folks about mindfulness!

In February, I jetted off to Mardi Gras for my first-ever press trip, courtesy of the nice people at Zatarains. I hadn’t been to New Orleans since my twenties, and it was an emotional reunion that I wrote about for The Kitchn, in my first-ever travel essay.

In March, I took off for a long writing weekend in Seabright, Washington, with my friends Kira Jane Buxton and Jennifer Fliss. Write those names down, ya’ll, because you’ll be hearing a lot more about these talented women in the future. Kira sold her first novel, Hollow Kingdom, last summer to Grand Central, and Jennifer was just nominated for not one but TWO Pushcart Prizes.

I wasn’t feeling great during the weekend — I was sick and didn’t know it — and yet I still had a breakthrough on my memoir proposal that was badly needed. I realized I needed to take my chapter summaries apart and start over, which ended up being an excruciating, eight-month process. That’s where most of my creative energy went this year. I ended up essentially writing an abridged version of my book, which is making completion of the final draft go much more smoothly. Proof that getting away even for a few days can yield big dividends.

Jennifer, me and Kira outside our writing cottage. Whoever had the longest arm snapped the selfie.

The entire month of April was spent getting medical tests and feeling crappy. Moving on…

I feared I wasn’t going to be well enough to make it to the ASJA Conference in New York City in May, but in the end I rallied, and I’m so glad I did! People actually turned up at 8 am Saturday morning to hear the panel on Tackling Tough Topics that Dorri Olds, Rudri Bhatt Patel, Candy Arrington and I presented. I loved connecting live and in person with writer friends made through online networking. Julie Vick and I even snuck off to see Kinky Boots on Broadway! Outside the conference, I grabbed a reunion lunch with fellow Lemon Treehouse alum Christine Kandic Torres (also nominated for a Pushcart this year – wow!) and caught up with Sirenlander Kathryn Maughan, and heard all about her time at the Iceland Writers Retreat. I returned to Seattle full of writing inspiration and re-energized by friendship.

The labyrinth.

Summer rolled around, and I made getting my chapter summaries reconfigured by fall a goal. My family and I took a little weekend getaway to Arizona, and then I stayed behind to write for almost a week at the Franciscan Renewal Center, a Catholic retreat center located about a mile from my childhood home in Scottsdale. June in Arizona is too hot for tourists, so I got a great deal on a room with a desk and 3 meals a day. (They were grandma-style meat and potatoes meals, a little short on the fruit and veggies, but at least I didn’t go hungry…)

Note: you don’t need to be Catholic to take advantage of a private retreat here! Church services are available but optional; I didn’t attend. Every morning and evening I walked the labyrinth and wandered in the gardens soaking up the desert landscape, absorbing the sound of quail cooing and the smell of creosote. Just writing this makes me long for that desert solitude.

In July, we took a family vacation in Jamaica. I snuck in some writing every morning while my teenagers slept and my husband hit the gym. By this point, I was starting to feel more like myself again physically, lamenting the fact that the year was half over and I hadn’t published much. I dug out an old essay draft, gave it another polish while on vacation, and sold it to The Washington Post. I also wrote one more piece for the Post before the month was over, about new public attitudes toward foster care…As a matter of fact, I wrote the final draft in my Volvo while my daughter was at soccer practice. I just love how sports clubs arrange for kids to practice in the middle of the day during the summer — not like parents have to work or anything, right?

By August, I was starting to feel like the end was in sight with my chapter summaries, and I was desperate to finish. I took another getaway (boy, it sounds like I’m never home! But I gotta get away from the mom duties sometimes to think.) At Sonoma County Writers Camp, I finally met my agent, Bonnie Solow, in person! Bonnie encouraged me to take my time and get the summaries right, which was reassuring. Camp might have been the best thing I did for my writing all year. The generative workshops, led by Ellen Sussman and Elizabeth Stark, were inspiring and so productive, the setting was gorgeous, the veggie meals tasty and healthy, and I met some lovely people. I’m adding this Camp to my 2018 list.

September the kids went back in school — yay! I just kept plugging away on my chapter summaries for the memoir. I honestly can’t remember exactly when I wrapped those up, but I know I felt thrilled when my agent gave them her seal of approval. We’ve both been dying to get my book out on submission… but at this point, we started debating which sample chapters to show editors. I decided that a chapter I hadn’t yet written really needed to be in the submission package, and so I got cracking on that.

Several amazing opportunities came my way in October. I wrote a piece for ParentMap about Together Live, an inspirational storytelling show featuring some big names like Glennon Doyle and Luvvie Ajayi. That led to an interview with soccer legend Abby Wambach for The Washington Post on how to be a great sports parent. (I even found myself confessing to the GOAT how sad I felt when my oldest daughter quit the sport — yikes!) I’d never interviewed a celebrity before, I was nervous, and my tape recording app failed. I had to rely on my notes to put the final draft together, but I made it work. I also had the chance to talk with a behind-the-scenes powerhouse of the literary world, agent Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, for Ruby Magazine, and how she created Together Live. Our conversation left me with inspirational tears.

Three wonderful things happened in November: 1. I completed the chapter I needed for my submission package! 2. I wrote a travel piece for Your Teen that will be out in February. 3. I got the first royalty check of my career, when a piece I wrote for The New York Times in 2016 got reprinted in Japan. (Did my essay land in newspaper/magazine/ book? I’m not really sure, because some of the info on the royalty statement was written in Japanese!)

One kinda sad thing happened in November: my agent and I decided to wait until 2018 to send my book proposal package out on submission to editors. We didn’t want to compete with the holidays for their attention. Even though it was right call, I felt depressed about it for a good 72 hours. I worked hard this year in spite of health issues without a lot to show for it in terms of money or publications, and I was really hoping to crown the year with that submission. Like I said, it’s so easy to get caught up in what we haven’t accomplished and ignore our achievements…Eventually I snapped out of my funk and went Christmas shopping.

I was delighted to end the year in December with my first byline at The Week, an odd little holiday travel essay I’d been tinkering with off and on for a couple of years. I’m so glad the piece is finally out in the world!

Now that I’ve written it all down, I see that 2017 was in fact a productive, if not lucrative, year. What I haven’t included so far in this blog post: details about the major assignment I fumbled when I got sick. That’s too embarrassing, but failure happens, and then you regroup. I also collected quite a few rejections, from editors at The New Yorker, O, Woman’s Day, Family Circle, and Real Simple. Those magazines remain targets for 2018.

RIP 2017. I’m more than ready to start fresh.

A new essay from me up at The Washington Post

Adoption, Memoir, News about me, Parenting, Publishing, Writing Comments Off

Jul 192017

I don’t usually write a blog post when I publish something online, but thus far 2017 has been a rough one career-wise, so I’m pretty excited to get some work that I’m proud of out into the world.

This essay, Unpacking the Adoption That Wasn’t, took awhile. I wrote the first draft in an online workshop with writer Emily Rapp Black. If I remember correctly, our assignment was to write about a photograph:

She stands on the threshold of St. Theresa’s Tender Loving Care Home, a 3-year-old dressed in a donated red turtleneck and matching red-and-white skirt, with the purple sneakers I bought for her at Shoppers Stop in Hyderabad strapped on her feet. It’s a hot day, and she’s clutching a bottle of water. The morning sun is bright, giving the photo an overexposed quality. Some ayah, one of the orphanage caregivers, has rolled her sleeves up above the elbow. Haseena’s dark hair, cut pixie style, appears damp and freshly combed, hinting that I must have just arrived for my daily visit. She looks straight into the camera, her brown eyes wide, a swath of bushes and a line of coconut palms in the background. She’s not smiling. I probably didn’t give her time to pose.

Later, I got stuck in revision, and hired Dawn Raffel to edit the piece. It took me another year to get around to implementing Dawn’s suggestions.

In the midst of my dry spell, I gave the essay a fresh edit a couple of months ago, then submitted to quite a few outlets, including The New York Times and O, where the piece garnered encouraging “try us again” rejections. I didn’t have On Parenting at the top of my submission list initially, because in 2015 editor Amy Joyce ran another essay of mine that looked at my failed adoption from a completely different angle, and I feared she might view this one as a repeat. Thankfully, Amy liked the piece and gave it a home!

Click here to visit On Parenting and read the essay…

Announcing the winner of the YOU MADE ME A MOTHER GIVEAWAY — Plus an interview with the author, Laurenne Sala

Authors, Books, Children's Books, Finding a literary agent, Giveaways, Memoir, Parenting, Uncategorized Comments Off

May 102017

I’m SUPER excited to announce the winner of the YOU MADE ME A MOTHER giveaway:

RUTH EBENSTEIN

Congratulations, Ruth! Please shoot me an email via the online contact form here on the site and include your address. If you reply today, I’ll do my best to get an autographed copy to you in time for Mother’s Day!

Full disclosure: Ruth is a friend, but her entry was chosen using the random number service random.org. If you didn’t win this time, I’m sorry! Still, I’ve got a treat for you all in the form of an interview with the author of YOU MADE ME A MOTHER, Laurenne Sala, that aspiring writers in particular may find interesting…

How an Unpublished Memoirist Became a Big Time Children’s Book Author

Laurenne Sala, 35, founded an LA stage show where people reveal their most taboo secrets, wrote scripts for Funny or Die, and conquered the advertising world, but her dreams of publishing a book went unfulfilled, until an unexpected break made her an author.

“I don’t do things half-assed. Ever,” my friend Laurenne Sala says. “I always tried to write with my heart and give it my all, and then I was finally noticed. I see success happen to everyone who does not give up! ”

A little background: Laurenne grew up a child of divorce outside Chicago. At 10, she discovered her funny, caring dad was gay, but at 15, she lost him to suicide, a pain that stayed buried for years.

She left home to study communications at the University of Southern California. Next, she pursued a Masters in Advertising Copywriting at Miami Ad School. Then she had to move back in with her mom for awhile.

“I worked on my portfolio day in and day out,” she remembers. “I told myself that I wouldn’t shave my legs or armpits until I got a job. It took three months!”

Her first gig was writing commercials for Jack in the Box at a small ad agency. “The agency was great. They taught me the ropes. But my very first day at the office, I remember thinking that I had to write a book. I didn’t think I could swing a cubicle job for that long.”

With her ad career launched, Laurenne enrolled in an adult writing class at night, where she finally opened up about her father’s death. The relief she felt in sharing her story with her classmates led to the creation of Taboo Tales, a Los Angeles-based storytelling show with the motto THE MORE WE ALL TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP WE ARE, THE MORE NORMAL WE ALL FEEL. She found more success writing for Funny or Die, but a memoir about her father’s death felt closest to her heart.

I should tell you that Laurenne and I became friends because of that memoir. We met a few years ago at the SDSU Writers Conference at the memoir table at the networking lunch.

“One thing I loved about the memoir was that the first half was told from my father’s point of view. I wrote the other half as if I was my mom,” she says.

Although I remember Laurenne getting positive comments about the book from publishing professionals at the SDSU Conference, her manuscript garnered more than 60 rejections from literary agents. She opted to put the memoir aside for awhile and carried on with her ad career and Taboo Tales. She also kept trying to publish short pieces, and landed an essay about her dad’s death in the anthology DANCING AT THE SHAME PROM, published by Seal Press in 2012.

Despite her intense literary aspirations, Laurenne never dreamed of writing a children’s book. Here’s how it happened.

She first created the text of YOU MADE ME A MOTHER as promotional copy for Boba, makers of baby wraps and carriers. At the time, Laurenne was single and childless, yet she clearly captured some new mom emotions, because when Boba made a tear-jerker of a video from her writing, it went viral.

After that came the big shock: HarperCollins called! The publishing giant offered to pair her up with popular illustrator Robin Preiss Glasser, of bestselling FANCY NANCY fame, to ensure the book’s success. YOU MADE ME A MOTHER won rave reviews and sold out on Amazon within 24 hours of its debut last year.

“The cool thing about YOU MADE ME A MOTHER is that it’s truly a mixture of everything I’ve done in my career,” says Sala. “It began as an ad! And it makes people cry! I’ve always wanted to write something that makes people feel.”

Today Laurenne is having all the fun reading her book to kids and encouraging them to share their feelings too. A sequel, YOU MADE ME A FATHER, will publish in time for Father’s Day 2018 (though you can get a sneak peek here in the video Boba has already made.)

“I struck while the iron was still hot with Harper,” she recalls. “As soon as we had the mom book contract in the works, I sent the dad book manuscript! I figured I’d do that while they were still into me! It worked, and they bought it within 2 weeks.”

In other joyful news, Laurenne got married last year, not long after her book was published, and she’s expecting a baby girl this fall!! Her memoir remains on hold for now, but she’s got a new project in the works called The Grief Collective, a collection of data, experiences, and stories that all involve losing a parent.

“Anyone who has grieved the loss of a parent can join here: https://goo.gl/forms/lZQroqCawWLUE20F3,” Laurenne explains. “You can sign up to answer one question a month, which helps me compare experiences and see what we all have in common when it comes to grieving.”

I can’t wait to see where this project goes!

Talking Writing with the Folks at the SDSU Writers Conference

Finding a literary agent, Memoir, News about me, retreats and residencies, writers conferences, Writing, writing a book proposal Comments Off

Jan 242017

Finding a Literary Agent: Acing the Much Anticipated Phone Call

Finding a literary agent, Memoir, Uncategorized, Writing Comments Off

Nov 152016

Well, we’re one week out from the shocking US Presidential election that has left so many devastated. I’m personally just starting to claw myself out of a well of despair. Attending a poetry reading Friday night at Hugo House helped, as did a reassuring note from my agent that a Trump presidency doesn’t spell the demise of the publishing industry. Although I refuse to call things back to normal in America, it does make sense for us writers to get back to work as we feel able, for the good of the country and for our own sanity. Writing CAN make a difference. And since you sometimes need an agent to help you get your words out into the world, let’s talk about a truly exciting part of the agent search: acing a phone call with someone who’s interested in representing you.

When Opportunity Knocks, Be Ready

Most of the time, an agent will want to schedule the call in advance, but a few go getters may ring without warning, so make sure you’ve done your homework regarding the agents you’ve queried. Also, learn as much as you can about how the publishing world works early in the submission process so that you’re not totally unprepared if a call takes you by surprise. Like Oprah says…

For the purposes of this post, however, let’s assume you have some prep time before a scheduled call. After you jump up and down and scream for joy and maybe eat a cookie because an agent wants to chat, what should you do?

First of all, do a fresh round of the research on the agent.

Review the agent’s website. Read any interviews they’ve given or articles they’ve published. Check YouTube for videos. Google madly.

If you’ve purchased a Publishers Marketplace membership as I suggested in a previous post, go to PW now and check out the agent’s sales history. Has the agent sold any books recently? If not, why not? Have they sold any books in your category lately? Have they sold multiple books for the same author? (Hint: That may be important if you’re looking for a long-term career partner.) Also, see how many clients the agent has. Will they have plenty of time to devote to you, or be spread thin? Skim the agent’s client list — is there anybody you know/could reach out to and see if they are satisfied with their representation?

Of course, not all agents contribute data to PW, but for those who do, you’ll find the site a useful source of info that can help you identify areas you want to address during the call. And if you’re lucky enough to have more than one agent vying for your attentions, be sure to use PW to compare their profiles.

Amazingly, I had two agent phone calls to prepare for this summer. A review of PW’s data revealed that one of them had sold several memoirs to small presses — publishing houses with typical advances of $5K or so that I knew I didn’t need an agent to approach. This was useful info to have in my back pocket, since I’d prefer not to share a tiny advance with an agent if I don’t have to! Plus, my dream is to have the support of one of the Big 5, so as I went into my calls, I wanted to determine if either/both of the agents shared my big vision.

Next, draft a list questions.

I wish I’d saved my questions, but I tossed them right after I made my agent decision. As always, I googled obsessively to prepare (ie “literary agent call”and “what to ask a literary agent before signing.”) I read tons of posts on asking the right questions. For example, the site kidlit.com has a great basic list:

1. What is your communication style? Do you prefer phone or email? Do you check in often even when we’re not on active submission?
2. Tell me more about how your agency works and handles clients. Is there an agency agreement for new clients? (There usually will be, it’s okay to ask to see it beforehand.) What are steps for termination? (You hope it doesn’t happen, but you need to know that you have an out if you need it.)
3. Are you a member of AAR? (The Association of Author Representatives. Member agencies agree to abide by a code of ethics. Their website is www.aaronline.org.) NOTE: I wouldn’t waste time asking this — this is part of your research!
4. What books have you sold and what publishers do you work with? AGAIN: I think you should do your homework here, and instead of asking what the agent has sold, maybe ask some more specific questions related to those titles. For example: I saw on Publisher’s Marketplace that you recently sold a debut novel at auction. I’m also a new author, so maybe you could tell me a little about how that successful deal came about…
5. What is your submission strategy? Do you go on a big round to editors or do you do smaller rounds that let us hear feedback and make changes, should we need to?
6. How would you position this book to editors? Where do you see this fitting in to publishers’ lists?
7. What editorial changes do you think I should make to this manuscript?
8. What happens if we don’t sell this book?

Additional questions that I recall adding to my list include:

Why do you want to represent my memoir?

After I finish this book, I’d like to write a novel. Assuming we have a good experience working together on the memoir, what is your experience in placing debut fiction?

Do you have an assistant? If so, will I be dealing with the assistant or directly with you most of the time?
I went into my calls highly prepared, but here’s the thing: I didn’t really need to ask most of these questions. Agents conduct these calls all the time, and they have a good sense about what authors want and need to know. Both of the women I spoke to immediately told me why they wanted to represent my book, volunteered backstory on how they got into the industry, and the conversation flowed from there. But I was glad I had my question list, which ensured I had a cheat sheet to calm my nerves and a checklist to consult so that the call covered everything I wanted to know.

Go into the conversation with a clear — but not rigid — vision for your book and your career.

As writers, we deal with so much rejection that it’s easy to collapse in a heap of gratitude should an agent actually offer us the time of day, BUT if you’ve reached this stage of the process, it’s critical that you have a strong vision for your project and your career. Every agent is not a good agent. Every good agent is not a good match for every writer. Now is the time to put your insecurities aside and remember you have something to offer or the agent wouldn’t be pursuing you. This is a potential business partnership. Think it through and don’t just say yes.

As I mentioned above, I’m holding on to a big vision for my memoir, and so I was thrilled when one of the agents I spoke with articulated a similarly big vision. I loved her submission philosophy also: work and work on the material until it feels absolutely ready, and then go big and wide, to the “top” of publishing.

The agent I chose not to partner with also seemed likable and smart, but during our call she said she wanted to take my material out immediately to editors at both large and small presses at once. This made me feel like her strategy leaned more to a fast deal vs the best deal, which didn’t sit right. Also, she encouraged me to edit my proposal to expand on the market potential for my book among a certain audience of readers — an audience that others in the publishing industry had told me was small, small, small. This made me feel like the agent hadn’t really done her homework. Perhaps if she’d been the only one to an extend an offer I would have tried to talk through these issues and possibly signed with her, but because I had an offer that felt perfect in every way, my choice was clear.

All that said, the ideal agent brings experience to the table that complements your own. The ideal agent also can be more objective about a book and its prospects than you, the writer. Having a clear vision about your book is critical for finding the right champion, but at the same time, you have to remain open to feedback from someone who is an expert in the field. Again, it all comes down to educating yourself, and then trusting your gut to leap in the right direction.

Finally, set yourself up for success in the moment.

This could be the call of a lifetime, so optimize conditions around appointment time as much as possible. As I said earlier, I conducted my agent search over the summer, so when it came time to have conversations with interested agents, I was dealing with kids home on summer vacation. My children are teens, so you might think that they would refrain from bothering me while I’m on the phone, which would mean you’ve never parented a teenager.

I couldn’t take the risk.

For my calls, I got out of the house. I drove to a beautiful park in my neighborhood and parked my Volvo in a spot where the view was lovely and spent 15 minutes on deep breathing and meditation so that I was calm and ready when the phone rang. Not all of us have the luxury of getting away, but do what you can. If you have young kids, try to hire a sitter at call time or set the kids up with a movie. If you work full-time, try to set up the call for the start of the day or lunchtime, and maybe take it away from the desk where you’re a lawyer/administrator/ salesperson etc. Claim some space and privacy, and do your best.

When the phone rings, take a breath. Say hello. You’ve got this.

In case you missed my previous posts on Finding a Literary Agent, check out:

On Being a Late Bloomer: AKA “I finally got a literary agent”

Finding a Literary Agent: How do you decide who to query?

Finding a Literary Agent: Writing and personalizing the query letter

Finding a Literary Agent: Plotting your submission strategy

An Imperfectly Magical Writing Residency at The Lemon Tree House in Tuscany

Memoir, Writing Comments Off

Nov 072016

Last year I spent a week writing in Walla Walla, Washington, courtesy of the Northwest Playwrights Alliance and Ms. Leticia Lopez, who generously donated the use of her vacation home for the residency. I wrote about that experience on the blog as The Week of Magical Thinking, revealing my absurd fantasy that I’d be able to draft most of my memoir in seven days. Of course that didn’t happen, though I did get some pages written.

I’ve since learned that, for me, writing this memoir is a marathon, and that’s okay. As long as I dip into the manuscript regularly, the pages accrue. But here’s a confession: this summer I got busy with kids and freelancing and my literary agent search, and I let the manuscript grow a little cold.

Never fear, I told myself, I’ve got another residency coming — and this one is TWO WEEKS LONG. AT A VILLA. IN ITALY.

A view of Camporsevoli, “The Lemon Tree House,” from their website.

I now knew better than to pretend that I’d finish my book in those two weeks, but in the words of the goddess Cheryl Strayed, I intended to “write like a motherfucker” and make up for the lost time of the summer.

Hope springs eternal, ya’ll.

Unfortunately, life proved hectic on the family and work fronts in the weeks leading up to my residency at The Lemon Tree House in Comporsevoli, Italy. In addition to back-to-school craziness and general preparing-to-go-out-of-town stress, two of my kids suffered sports injuries that required repeated medical appointments, plus we have some other family worries at the moment. Then, just as I was boarding my flight, wondering what important item I’d forgotten to pack, an essay I’d turned in to espnW weeks before landed back in my in box for edits.

Bottom line: Despite months of anticipation, I just wasn’t in the centered place I’d hoped to be for this residency.

After landing in Florence and meeting my fellow “Lemon Trees” at a delicious welcome dinner (hello lemon caper pasta!) I spent the first day recovering from jet lag, the second day day revising that essay on deadline, the third day lying in bed with a stomach ache, and the fourth day pacing around panicked about the fact that I only had 10 days left to work, fretting because my new agent was waiting to seeing what I produced. Also, even though we were up in the Tuscan Hills, the wifi somehow worked great, allowing me to use the internet to obsess over the US Presidential election instead of writing. Given that the whole Trump “grab ’em by the pussy” horror erupted during that time, I found it really hard not to check the news daily.

Finally one night I texted my husband at 2 am Italy time to confess that I felt weird, and sad, and guilty. After all, I was moping around a villa, enjoying hot breakfast every morning prepared with love by Lemon Tree founders Julie Jolicoeur and Erinn Beth Langille, and savoring a delicious three-course meal every night prepared by Chef Jason Yates while my husband was at home driving our three kids to soccer. My stepmom also had taken off work and flown across the country to help out at my house. Folks were sacrificing to give me this time and I was self-indulgently freaking out. Oh, and Italy had turned cold, and I hadn’t brought enough warm clothes. Can you say “big whiny baby?”

I mean, just look at that pasta. WTF was my problem? I was in ITALY!!!

Once I confessed my uneasy feelings, however, I started to make peace with them. I spent time walking through the woods and read Heidi Julavits brilliant memoir, The Folded Clock. I started going through manuscript edits from my agent, and saw they were small tweaks, not major overhauls, which tamped down some anxiety. I realized that some of the weird feelings and tense body sensations I was having mimicked feelings I’d had while living the experiences I’m writing about in my memoir. I was working some things out at a subconscious level, even if I wasn’t sure what they were and didn’t much like the process.

But Italy is magical, even when you feel like jumping out of your skin. Time away from your typical routine is a gift that may lead to magical productivity, or may give you an opportunity to wrestle with all the muck you ignore as you’re hustling through everyday life that gets in the way of creative work. I felt mucked up, but the structure at The Lemon Tree House helped.

Every evening at 5:30 pm, the dozen of us writers and artists gathered with faculty and staff at “The Courthouse” for craft talks and readings, punctuated by festive cocktails mixed by novelist Rosa Rankin-Gee, and followed by another amazing meal from Jason. Rosa and the other faculty-in-residence Craig Francis Power, Nadja Spiegelman, Ryley O’Byrne, and Sarah Cale were generous with their insights and encouragement, the staff led by Julie and Erinn was kind and attentive, and my fellow Lemon Trees were just a lovely bunch. I got my very first shiatsu massage from Coralie Aussi, a masseuse who’d come from Paris to help us all with our aches and pains. Slowly, as the residency unspooled, my funk lifted.

“The Courthouse,” where we gathered for evening salons, and prosecco, and lambrusco, and rum punch, and sangria, and…the drinks never stopped, though there were delicious mocktails available for those who preferred that option.

My time in Italy inspired and rejuvenated me, and by the end of the two weeks, I was writing again/at last. I was reminded yet again that I’m not a writing machine with an on/off switch, as much as I might like to be at times. I’m learning that sometimes a residency is about priming the pump, and then the creativity flows when you return home. My everyday life remains very stressful at the moment, but I’m getting the work done in part because I was able to take a break to honor it. To be able to do that is a huge privilege, and I’m thankful. I still feel some pressure to make that time pay off, but in a good way.

If you’re interested in attending The Lemon Tree House in 2017, applications are open now through December 1 for spring and fall residencies. There are fees associated with the program, but I can tell you it’s high quality and a TREMENDOUS value for the price if it suits your budget. I may even go back myself…

The wonderful writers and artists at The Lemon Tree House, Fall 2016. Miss you all!

Finding a Literary Agent: Plotting Your Submission Strategy

Books, Finding a literary agent, Memoir, Uncategorized, Writing 4 Responses »

Oct 212016

So your project feels ready. You’ve compiled a list of literary agents you want to approach, and you’ve drafted a query letter. Now it’s time for the rubber to hit the road, the shit to hit the fan, and for similar cliches to apply…it’s time to start querying!

But wait…Should you submit one query at a time, or should you carpet bomb the entire literary agent community with your pitch? How long do you wait for a reply before moving on? Should you follow up with agents who ignore you? Here are some thoughts based on my own recent search.

Start by reviewing and ranking your prospect list:

Consider the names on your agent list. Maybe you heard an agent speak at a conference and walked away smitten. Perhaps one of your prospects represents your favorite book of all time. Or maybe your novel is set in Boston, so you really want an agent with ties to the city. Whatever the rationale, you’ve likely got some favorites, so rank your targets accordingly.

I sorted my intended agents into three groups: Platinum, Gold, and Silver. I had about ten agents in each category, with Platinum my top choices. My Platinum agents were: women (because I thought a woman would be more drawn to my memoir than a man;) well-established and/or well connected (because I’m hoping for a deal with a major house, not a small press;) agents with a track record in memoir; and agents I thought I had a reasonable shot at attracting. Only you can determine who qualifies as a top tier agent for your unique project — but trust that there are lots of excellent people out there who might not look perfect at first glance. Finding THE ONE may take time. Perseverance is key.

Test the waters with a reasonable sample size:

I wasn’t planning to do a major agent search this year. Here’s what happened: in January I met an agent I liked at a writers’ conference from a respected boutique agency. This young woman was new enough to the business to be scouting for clients, but she’d recently sold a book of parenting essays to a major house — and she asked to see my material! I tried to seize the opportunity.

After revising and polishing my work, I sent my proposal to The Conference Agent in April. Then I waited around and daydreamed about working with her. Her boss had represented one of my competing titles, so the agency seemed like a perfect match.

After a few weeks of post-submission silence, I followed up. The Conference Agent promised to get back to me within a week. Two weeks passed. I stalked her on twitter and saw she’d gone on vacation, so I waited some more.

After nearly three months of no movement, I got impatient. I understand that the publishing industry operates at glacial speed most of the time, and I still hoped that this woman would fall in love with my project, but at this point I realized I needed to take charge of my career.

I’d been compiling a list of agents for a while in anticipation of an eventual search. I asked a friend if I could query her rep, an agent who happened to be a top choice for me, and got the green light. I sent my book proposal off to My Friend’s Agent and prepared myself to wait again. Then I stumbled upon this video from The Book Doctors, about creating a competitive environment for your manuscript.

I felt inspired. I’d worked really hard to make my proposal the best it could be and felt my query letter was solid. I decided to cast my net wider.

By now it was summer. Conventional wisdom says that summer is a bad time to reach out to agents because of rampant vacationing, but The Book Doctors video had me wound up. I shot out seven or eight query letters to Platimum prospects on a Friday afternoon in July with the subject line: “MEMOIR QUERY from a writer published in NYT, Washington Post and more.” Maybe a lot of agents were in the Hamptons, but a few had to be working, right?

Indeed they were. Monday morning, I woke up to a request for my memoir proposal from The Agent of a Super Famous Writer. I was THRILLED, but I knew what I had to do next.

If you’re certain your query is attracting interest, send out more feelers:

Three agents now had now shown interest in my work. A completely cold query had prompted a request for material from an agent I’d be humbled to work with. Inspired by The Book Doctors video, I resolved to maximize my chances. I sent The Agent of a Super Famous Writer my proposal, and then spent the rest of that Monday morning sending 8 or 9 more queries to folks on my Platinum and Gold lists. I also continued researching agents to see if there were hot prospects I’d missed, adding more names to my target list so that I’d be prepared to keep the search going as long as necessary.

Thankfully, by Tuesday, additional requests for my proposal were rolling in. One agent even requested both the proposal and the partial manuscript! Each time I got an additional request, I sent out two or three more queries. Every time I got a rejection, I sent out two or three more queries. I told myself it was a numbers game and I needed to keep hustling while cultivating as much detachment as possible (though by now I felt gobsmacked by the the prospect of working with The agent of a Super Famous Writer. OMG!)

If you’re getting real traction from one agent, let others know:

At this point, about five agents had my proposal, and one had also asked for the first 50 pages of the manuscript. To keep the momentum going, I sent follow up emails:

Hi Agent of a Super Famous Writer,

I realize that you’ve scarcely had time to review my memoir proposal, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve had some interest from other agents, including requests for the first 50 manuscript pages. Please let me know if you’d like me to send along the partial manuscript, so that you have the pages handy should the proposal spark your interest. I’m quite interested in working with you should you feel the same.

Thanks so much!

Guess what? The Agent of a Super Famous Writer got back to me within 24 hours to let me know she loved the proposal. Yes, she wanted to see the manuscript! In fact, I heard back from almost everyone I nudged, and all who responded asked for my manuscript.

I also followed up on all the Platinum prospects whom I hadn’t yet heard from yet:

SUBJECT: Follow up due to agent interest

Dear Agent,

I realize that you’ve scarcely had time to review the query letter I submitted on July 12, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve had multiple requests for my proposal and pages from other agents. I’m sure you’re terribly busy, but I’m following up with a fool’s optimism because your name was at the top of my query list.

My original query is included below. Please let me know if you’d like to see my proposal or manuscript. Thanks so much.

Some of these follow ups were ignored, but many prompted replies with requests for material. I also got friendly, personal rejections from many of the Platinum agents due to the follow up, a courtesy I preferred to being ignored.

Next, The Agent of a Super Famous Writer told me she wanted to schedule a call as soon as she finished reading the partial manuscript. She even suggested a specific time for the conversation. I jumped up and down with joy!! This could be it!!! After I calmed down, I sent a couple more queries, praying I was being overly diligent; I hoped that an offer of representation was around the corner.

Don’t let dashed hopes slow you down:

I never did talk to The Agent of a Super Famous Writer. She finished reading my partial manuscript and sent a message saying the manuscript didn’t live up to the promise of the proposal and was “overwrought and overwritten.” I was shocked. I’d hired a former acquisitions editor to go over all my material prior to submission, and the editor had felt the manuscript far stronger than the proposal!This was par for the course. Getting an agent so quickly would have been way too easy. But “overwritten” still hurt. And what if she was right?

I shared my distress with my husband and a professional networking group, got some pats on the back, and then I tried to shake off the heartbreak. I decided that if I got similar feedback on the book from other agents, I’d suspend submissions and regroup.

All you need is one:

The day after The Agent of a Super Famous Writer rejected me so harshly, I got an email from another agent who said my manuscript actually had moved her to tears! The Agent Who Cried wanted to schedule a phone call, so of course I said yes! Then I sent out one more round of follow ups and immediately heard back from a second agent who also wanted to chat. I scheduled both calls for later in the week. I knew it was possible that I could have those two calls and not get an offer from either agent, but there was also a good chance I’d end up weighing two offers — and all you need is one!

I’m so thankful that I saw The Book Doctors video and had the courage to apply their strategy. By keeping my submission energy active and moving, I felt more in control of my fate. Perhaps some agents were turned off by my follow ups, but if so, nobody told me. EVERY rejection I received was personal, and included a thanks for querying and following up. In the end, the numbers broke down this way:

Total queries sent: 29

Queries that went ignored even with follow up: 12

Personal rejection letters received to query: 8

Requests for proposal and/or manuscript: 9

Personal rejection letters from agents who read material: 7

Requests for a phone call: 2

Offers of representation: 2

As you can see, almost half of the queries I sent were never acknowledged, despite the fact that my search went incredibly well! To me, this proves that if you and your project are truly ready, it’s a matter of persistence. Don’t be passive and don’t give up!

In my next post, I’ll talk about preparing for an agent call, what to do when you finally get an offer or offers.

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